How was I to foresee they would suddenly outsource my
position to 4 third-worlders?
We could not have known that there was not enough water for
us all, out here in Las Vegas
Never knew how fragile that Big Oil teat we all loved so
dearly really was
Had no idea our homes would not be free ATMs for all the
rest of everybody’s lives
Were so surprised that our financial industry created
the credit mess that ruined us
Shocked that our special kids would not lead the world, much
less find decent jobs
Could not imagine ourselves as profitable examples of energy
usage and innovation
Did not realize the wasteful habits that I thought saved me
time did not pay off at all, in the end
Ignored those irrelevant foreigners moving in other
directions, leaving us far behind
Never even dreamed that retirement would become such a
quaint and bygone concept
Consternated to find it so expensive to leave the big screen
plugged in 24 hours every day
Surprised to be deciding between the mortgage, groceries,
heating and health care
Could not possibly have grasped our utter dependence on
Chinese goods for our very lives
Did not expect to see poor families living in giant SUVs
that would never run again
Was stunned when a leader finally said we might need to do
more while using less
Flabbergasted as the roads became impassible, dams broke and
bridges were declared unsafe
How could I have foreseen myself unemployable, uninsured and
without any savings at 50?
Why would I have ever worried about what they called this junk
science of climate change?
Never even thought a negative savings rate might not be
proper for His chosen people
Did not conceive that I’d ever see kids picking through
dumps for what I had thrown away
Not even wackos mentioned we should treat domestic animals
with the golden rule
Shocked to find there were no more jobs that I could not
even afford to commute to
Certainly never thought My family had a hand in some
vast, mass extinction of the seas
How were we supposed to know that such cheerful lawn
products poisoned our drinking water?
Mighty surprised to learn how much oil all those disposable
plastic bags had cost us
Could never have foreseen that my lifestyle would have
caused me all these diseases
Did not think once that the boys really should have learned
to read and to do the math
Why should I have worried about overpopulation when God had
told us to just go on forth?
Never even dreamed I wouldn’t be laughing at them
treehuggerss driving teeny cars
Got caught flatfooted when I couldn’t get another home
equity loan to go on vacation again
I had never even considered I could not afford to dine out
for lunch, 3 times a week
Always took it for granted that defense and healthcare would
cost a lot more every year
Surely, I could not have predicted we would run out of
credit and petroleum both at once
Never could have dreamed consumer spending would stop being
the cure-all for all our economic ills
Didn’t cross my mind how much they planned to charge me for
a simple death with dignity
How
would I have known I was just hearing voices when I thought I was talking to my
savior?
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