Anytime it gets kinda hot, I just twist a thermostat and
some good old cool air begins to flow
The CO2 from that coal-fired power plant plays no role in
our Traditional Family Values©
I slide my credit card at the pump and drive away alone in
my 9 passenger vehicle
We’re conveniently supporting terrorists with every tankful
so that we can fight them there
The rain splashes off all that nice smooth concrete into
little rivulets as we drive
The oily residues which taint the feeder creeks are absolutely
no concern of ours
Our shiny trash cans are overstuffed with recyclable
materials that we call our garbage
Hey, let the wackos sort that shit out after we roll our
kids futures to the curb
With a simple twist of my wrist, fresh clean hot and cold water
flows from the tap
I don’t know where it comes from or care where the shit I
put on my green lawn goes
It’s magic how the bulldozers turn non-productive wetlands
into family neighborhoods
There’s no way these blessed suburbs represent brutally
efficient habitat destruction
If I get hungry while I’m upon my busy way, I idle on in
thru a fast food drive thru lane
Later on I do my part and stuff all of that packaging waste
into some convenient dumpster
We proudly support our troops with plastic decals affixed to
our imported cars
They’re made in fume-filled sweatshops overseas by ignorant
peasant wage slaves
Our unearned home equity was an amazing source of funds for
vacations and toys
Now our interest rate is too high, we owe more than it’s
worth, so we deserve a bailout
My son was uniquely gifted and showed great potential at an
extremely early age
The doctors have ascribed his lack of success and bad
attitude to ADHD and poor schools
It’s magic how the stores brim with things I just saw on TV
and simply have to have
Mom and Dad always buy for me so that I will remain their
friend and still talk to them
Simply pushing buttons on the remote from the couch brings
up 150 big screen channels
There’s not too much on that we really watch, but that
monster sucks down the juice 24x7x365
I joyfully immerse myself in the spectacle of commercial
sports at any opportunity
I love watching overpaid black criminals brutally bash each
other, clad in shiny, tight spandex
I love the freedom of the open road and the wind in my hair
on my Harley-Davidson
It sits for months depreciating in the way in the garage
while I miss a few more payments
There’s nothing quite so relaxing as quietly sitting and
fishing on a peaceful lake
We rip across the water on 200 dirty horsepower which
exhausts straight down into the water
The freedom of the open road beckons us from the comfort of
our mobile home
7 miles a gallon, tons of CO2 and a noisy generator so we
can watch our DVDs in AC’d comfort
It’s magic how the meat we love appears wrapped in plastic
so very clean and safe
We don’t see or want to know about the filthy feedlots and
those bloody slaughterhouses
We see a future filled with more bright consumption and
happy indulgence for the kids
It’s
a wonderful and magic world made simply for our pleasure, convenience and
comfort
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