I pull them 5 ATVs up the hill behind my big diesel just
trying to relax on the weekend
We get tired of the same old places and go ahead pioneering
different bandit trails
We stop for the snacks we brought along and just tuck the
cans and wrappers behind a tree
Little Timmy loves to gun that 4 wheeler just like the
little man I need him so much to be
We drag the jet skis 300 miles to the half-dried up
reservoir way out in the empty desert
We got giant overstuffed coolers by the tables underneath a
colorful plastic party gazebo
We roar around the lake making waves and yelling at each
other at the tops of our voices
Drink a lot of beer and just piss and shit out in the water,
whenever it strikes us
Tow my 40’ trailer out to Colorado ever august cause it’s
too hot in our beloved Texas
We like to spend our days in the truck way up in the high
country looking at the scenery
We run a generator for the microwave and blow dryer, the A/C
and the DVD
This here is truly god’s country and we’re thinking of
building us another second home
We drove 3000 miles to take pictures of ourselves taking
pictures at the overlooks
Munched on overpriced, over-sweetened, over-salted,
over-packaged treats along the way
Storing the digital memories of a lifetime standing beside
lots of other real nice people
Staying safely in the same hotels all along the way and we
keep our windows rolled up tight
Trailered up the snow machines and left stinking clouds of
smoke pulling them up the pass
Pulled off all kinda like extreme moves as my savage 700 lb
metal beastie roared
Tracked down and chased some elk and deer through the
heavily drifted snow
Think I really felt I blew off some steam and, why, I didn’t
bother nobuddy or hurt nothin
Got out on the water in my 20’ speedboat with those twin 250
horsepower Black Mercs
She’ll run 40 mph and has a 100 gallon gas tank that serves
up the good times we love so much
We pull the kids around on water donuts and they lay there
and laugh and scream
Why just alone the trailer for this baby is costin me like
13 grand…
Headed out west in our 65’ class C RV that we still owe a
cool quarter of a mil on
It’s as big as a semi and protects our frail blue-haired
bodies real well
Got a sporty paint job, a catchy name, a little hot tub and
pulls our SUV right along behind
Gets 4 MPG and the mechanics charge $85/hr with a $100
minimum to change a bulb
Pulled on my $1500 leathers and strode out into the garage
to mount my holy Harley
Had loud mufflers put on so I wear these earplugs but damn
does it sound nice
I only ride it some weekends in the summer but it was just
$30k from our home equity
Gonna take a freedom ride with the boys out west some day
and reclaim my masculinity
Flew off to tony resorts fenced safely from the surrounding
poor who despise us
Dropped into the 3rd world searching for meaning
and watched them grub their food
Feasted on dynamited fish and didn’t know or care where the
water came from or the waste went
Assured ourselves that our vacationing presence brought a
miracle of clean eco-tourism growth
But
all these good times just blur together in the anticipation of our next
wreckreational adventure
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