Gas-Powered Wreckreation

I pull them 5 ATVs up the hill behind my big diesel just trying to relax on the weekend

We get tired of the same old places and go ahead pioneering different bandit trails

We stop for the snacks we brought along and just tuck the cans and wrappers behind a tree

Little Timmy loves to gun that 4 wheeler just like the little man I need him so much to be

We drag the jet skis 300 miles to the half-dried up reservoir way out in the empty desert

We got giant overstuffed coolers by the tables underneath a colorful plastic party gazebo

We roar around the lake making waves and yelling at each other at the tops of our voices

Drink a lot of beer and just piss and shit out in the water, whenever it strikes us

Tow my 40’ trailer out to Colorado ever august cause it’s too hot in our beloved Texas

We like to spend our days in the truck way up in the high country looking at the scenery

We run a generator for the microwave and blow dryer, the A/C and the DVD

This here is truly god’s country and we’re thinking of building us another second home

We drove 3000 miles to take pictures of ourselves taking pictures at the overlooks

Munched on overpriced, over-sweetened, over-salted, over-packaged treats along the way

Storing the digital memories of a lifetime standing beside lots of other real nice people

Staying safely in the same hotels all along the way and we keep our windows rolled up tight

Trailered up the snow machines and left stinking clouds of smoke pulling them up the pass

Pulled off all kinda like extreme moves as my savage 700 lb metal beastie roared

Tracked down and chased some elk and deer through the heavily drifted snow

Think I really felt I blew off some steam and, why, I didn’t bother nobuddy or hurt nothin

Got out on the water in my 20’ speedboat with those twin 250 horsepower Black Mercs

She’ll run 40 mph and has a 100 gallon gas tank that serves up the good times we love so much

We pull the kids around on water donuts and they lay there and laugh and scream

Why just alone the trailer for this baby is costin me like 13 grand…

Headed out west in our 65’ class C RV that we still owe a cool quarter of a mil on

It’s as big as a semi and protects our frail blue-haired bodies real well

Got a sporty paint job, a catchy name, a little hot tub and pulls our SUV right along behind

Gets 4 MPG and the mechanics charge $85/hr with a $100 minimum to change a bulb

Pulled on my $1500 leathers and strode out into the garage to mount my holy Harley

Had loud mufflers put on so I wear these earplugs but damn does it sound nice

I only ride it some weekends in the summer but it was just $30k from our home equity

Gonna take a freedom ride with the boys out west some day and reclaim my masculinity

Flew off to tony resorts fenced safely from the surrounding poor who despise us

Dropped into the 3^rd world searching for meaning and watched them grub their food

Feasted on dynamited fish and didn’t know or care where the water came from or the waste went

Assured ourselves that our vacationing presence brought a miracle of clean eco-tourism growth

But all these good times just blur together in the anticipation of our next wreckreational adventure

Mindless Consumer Magic

Anytime it gets kinda hot, I just twist a thermostat and some good old cool air begins to flow

The CO2 from that coal-fired power plant plays no role in our Traditional Family Values©

I slide my credit card at the pump and drive away alone in my 9 passenger vehicle

We’re conveniently supporting terrorists with every tankful so that we can fight them there

The rain splashes off all that nice smooth concrete into little rivulets as we drive

The oily residues which taint the feeder creeks are absolutely no concern of ours

Our shiny trash cans are overstuffed with recyclable materials that we call our garbage

Hey, let the wackos sort that shit out after we roll our kids futures to the curb

With a simple twist of my wrist, fresh clean hot and cold water flows from the tap

I don’t know where it comes from or care where the shit I put on my green lawn goes

It’s magic how the bulldozers turn non-productive wetlands into family neighborhoods

There’s no way these blessed suburbs represent brutally efficient habitat destruction

If I get hungry while I’m upon my busy way, I idle on in thru a fast food drive thru lane

Later on I do my part and stuff all of that packaging waste into some convenient dumpster

We proudly support our troops with plastic decals affixed to our imported cars

They’re made in fume-filled sweatshops overseas by ignorant peasant wage slaves

Our unearned home equity was an amazing source of funds for vacations and toys

Now our interest rate is too high, we owe more than it’s worth, so we deserve a bailout

My son was uniquely gifted and showed great potential at an extremely early age

The doctors have ascribed his lack of success and bad attitude to ADHD and poor schools

It’s magic how the stores brim with things I just saw on TV and simply have to have

Mom and Dad always buy for me so that I will remain their friend and still talk to them

Simply pushing buttons on the remote from the couch brings up 150 big screen channels

There’s not too much on that we really watch, but that monster sucks down the juice 24x7x365

I joyfully immerse myself in the spectacle of commercial sports at any opportunity

I love watching overpaid black criminals brutally bash each other, clad in shiny, tight spandex

I love the freedom of the open road and the wind in my hair on my Harley-Davidson

It sits for months depreciating in the way in the garage while I miss a few more payments

There’s nothing quite so relaxing as quietly sitting and fishing on a peaceful lake

We rip across the water on 200 dirty horsepower which exhausts straight down into the water

The freedom of the open road beckons us from the comfort of our mobile home

7 miles a gallon, tons of CO2 and a noisy generator so we can watch our DVDs in AC’d comfort

It’s magic how the meat we love appears wrapped in plastic so very clean and safe

We don’t see or want to know about the filthy feedlots and those bloody slaughterhouses

We see a future filled with more bright consumption and happy indulgence for the kids

It’s a wonderful and magic world made simply for our pleasure, convenience and comfort

Pissed Away, Wasted, Scoffed And Ignored

Pissed away the rivers, bays and lakes with our dams, oils and chemicals

Wasted my time so haplessly drinking, fighting and carrying on for the girls

Wasted so much fuel on thoughtless commuting, vacationing and shopping

Pissed away my brain on anger, fear, jealousy and desire

Tossed out unopened and unread the lessons the elders had struggled so desperately to send

Ignored the many signals from the earth that our time had grown so dangerous and short

Ignored the melancholy head shaking by those girls with their long brown-hair

Tossed out without a thought so many things the kids now dig for, just trying to re-use

Made so much senseless noise that we always had to shout, just to hear our own thoughts

Now the silence we always feared is no longer pregnant, but simply empty

Now our smoke and our dust does not block out the heat and the sun like it used to

Made a lot of money but always somehow spent quite a bit more than we earned

Scoffed at all the hard-working people who made my foolish lifestyle possible

Destroyed habitats we knew we did not need with those self-satisfied and knowing smirks

Destroyed relationships that then seemed unimportant with my casually caustic sarcasm

Scoffed at the fuzzy science and junk math of those limp environmental wackos

Trampled on the feelings of those who even tried to help to see me through

Gutted the fragrant valleys to extract the coal which we then burned to foul the air

Gutted myself writhing on the poisoned spikes of the invisible fences of safe society

Trampled the carefully tended fields on our endless marches to war’s glory

Fouled my lungs and brain and liver with tobacco and alcohol and propaganda

Derided their calls for sustainability as unnecessary and far too expensive in jobs and money

Derided my own efforts as puny and insignificant until I finally gave them up

Fouled our landfills, roadways and suburbs right along with the blessed rain and the snow

Sacrificed my wanderlust for the prison-style safety of the prairie dog cubicle farm

Sold them on phony religious paradises in return for their tithes, obedience and souls

Sold them out to overseas suppliers, laid them off and took home our fat bonuses

Sacrificed as little as we could and mistook dumb luck for god’s eternal blessing

Walked away from the little messes that I created time and time again

Fouled our entire sweet nest under god’s direction and with the help of our just laws

Fouled up the lives of all the good people who tried in vain just to give me shelter

Walked away from the mine wastes, chemical spills, abandoned factories and the unemployed

Pissed away my few allotted days and then asked why I should not have even more

Pissed away, in a heartbeat, our hard-earned respect from the rest of the world

Pissed away the many chances we were granted to even try to do what was right

Pissed away our precious children’s futures as we lived our lives to the fullest, just for today

Steps Toward Creating A Sustainable Destruction

Gonna get to universal healthcare that the government won’t play any part in

Looking to voluntarily solve climate change without hurting our great economy

We’ll maintain a woman’s choice as well as stop this murder of the innocent unborn

Protecting our right to bear arms while getting assault weapons away from criminals

We’ll preserve your privacy and secretly gather personal data vital to our national security

On our way towards reconciling literalist faith with the latest scientific research

Must remain the world’s only superpower while curbing all this military waste

We can reduce our slavish foreign dependence with the tough love of Big Oil and Clean Coal

We’ll find a way to fill our rotten jobs cheaply without using any illegal immigrants

We can end the global war on islamo-facism and we won’t ever have to cut and run

It’s possible to curb our national obesity and not even dictate to people what to eat

We’ll reconcile our treasured civil rights with the biblical ban upon gay marriage

There is a way to retain our beloved land yachts and still get cleaner, higher MPGs

We’re betting corporate agribusiness can self-regulate but still offer up safe, clean food

Surely they can save their rain forests as we recast golf course water hazards as healthy wetlands

Greedy corporate monomaniacs really are morphing into the wise stewards of our society

We’ll have them save more but continue to spend their retirement taxes immediately

Gonna protect tiny blind fish nobody catches as we keep our desert lawns real green

Giving grizzlies and wolves a place while protecting noble ranchers on federal lands

Won’t be pressured by the poll numbers but we must be attentive to the people’s will

Cannot permit their extremist agenda but we must break this legislative gridlock

We’ll continue to enjoy the fruits of cheap asian labor but end their immoral suffering

Our economic ills must be solved without any sacrifices by hardworking consumers

It’s possible to redraw districts in our favor while being sure that every vote still counts

We shouldn’t have to sacrifice any comforts to achieve a proud energy independence

A few tax incentive packages would likely engage the market to curb CO2 emissions

We’ll strike a political compromise to save both hydro power and a couple wild salmon

We will depend on gaming industry taxes as we promote personal fiscal responsibility

We can reach out to the rest of the world in the exceptionist manner our god intended

We must curb our vast wastes but without mandating lame recycling or cost to our convenience

Let us encourage sensible and thrifty habits without threatening consumer spending

We can feed them sugar, not make them brush then have them go find affordable dental care

We’ll force foreign markets open but grant subsidies and raise tariffs here at home

Have to stimulate the all-important economy even as we get this deficit under control

Corporate politicians shall wisely market their donor agenda while pursuing our common good

We’ll place almighty God atop our government even as we condemn islamic religious fanaticism