You can mount your fat and loud Harley while I slide on my
sleekly whining rice burner
Go climb up in your 300 horsepower crossover while I slip
into my hi-tech hybrid
Blare some Fox Republican Radio as I privately tune into NPR
Have yourself a double cheese burger and I’ll hit the Health
Foods salad bar
Get into the institutional weekend football game as we watch
MMA on weeknights
Fire up your brand new ATV and wail past our slow hiking
into the wilderness
Turn up the satellite country music as we listen to new
downloads in our earbuds
Suck down that read meat and potatoes while we prepare some
spicy Thai food
Go chase some elk on your smoking snowmobiles as we listen
for the cold silence
Pay lots to make your pickup a lot louder and roar on past
me as I commute on my bicycle
Put your everlasting faith in the bible and I’ll support
evolution until the evidence changes
Stand up against the environmental wackos while we quietly
evolve our new lifestyle
Keep supporting unaffordable free-market medicine as we ask
for universal healthcare
Just keep focusing only on the democrats as new, different
parties emerge at last
Reiterate the importance of abortion and I’ll keep talking
about climate change
Talk about the sanctity of marriage as I try and require an
exam to have children
Knee-jerkingly approve defense increases as we join hands in
search of peace
Adopt the arrogantly-smirking Texas lifestyle as we look to
folks in Europe for consolation
Laugh about your extra pounds while joking sarcastically about
us, as we are walking by
Put your money in clothes, cars and vacations and we’ll
retire 15 years before you
Take your processed red meats and pass the un-drugged,
free-range chicken, please
Dwell in the faux luxury of your McMansions as we downsize in
comfort far away
Get hypnotized by corporate soundbites while we deep dive
the details on the internet
Roar across the waters drunk and shouting hoarsely as we
quietly paddle and just observe
Listen as your media leaders pigeonhole us and ignore our
independent consensus
Worship your rigged free markets and leave us to fair trade
sustainability
Point to your golf course ponds and fight our suit to halt
your wetland progress
Have some super-sweetened cereal and take your laxative
instead of eating real fiber, stupid
Kill a tree for Christmas and get our re-gifted items in
your own recycled wrapping paper
Adjust your thermostats for comfort in the fight against our
foolish global warming hoax
Have illegales manicure your artificial lawns and laugh at
our pitiable xeriscape
Leave all your electronics on all the time as we compete to
use the fewest watts
Make your living fast-talk-pimping real estate while leaving
the engineering to us
Destroy their future to get rich quick as we scramble to
sustain ourselves in your dirty wake
Send your many discards to the landfills where we foresee
your children subsisting
Take
your sad and comical, old-timey heaven and leave us the certainty of the
eternal void
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